If you don’t ask, you don’t get
At the Women’s International Symposium over the weekend, I was particularly taken by the translating skills of one of the World Academy members. Some of the speakers would speak for 2 or 3 minutes before pausing for translation, and she would then deliver what appeared to be a flawless translation. One speaker in particular was delivering a really flowery and energetic speech (she’s a lawyer by trade, but the way she worked an audience tells me that she would have done well in stand-up) and all of that energy and passion came over in the English translation.
At the end of the event, I made a point of going over to the translator to tell her that she’d done a great job. As with all of the students that I’ve interacted with so far, she just lit up as we spoke. She asked if we could stay in touch, and I said ‘of course’ and gave her one of my cards with all of my contact information. As I’d learned before I got here, the students have discovered LinkedIn and Skype, so I knew that I would be hearing from her.
On Monday, I got a text message from her (I’d also let her call herself from my phone, so she’d have my Chinese cell number, while I’m on campus). The message confused me a little, as it sounded like she wanted to confirm a meeting that I didn’t know that we had arranged. I replied back with a time and a place, and then got another reply from her, asking if she could bring a friend along with her. I said yes, but still wasn’t really sure why they wanted to meet with me.
Later that day, I met them in International Square and we got ourselves some bubble teas and then found a place to sit. I asked them how they felt their presentations on their projects had gone the day before (all of the Academy members work on projects connected to the UN Millenium Goals, and while their projects were different, they both focus on universal access to education. Hearing their thoughts and concerns, I shared some tips on how to be a more effective presenter, and as with all of the students I’ve spent time with here, they were hungry to hear more and took copious notes.
The student who had set up the meeting, then asked if she could get some advice from me. I said “sure” and she went on to tell me that she would really like to ask someone to be a mentor, but wasn’t sure how to go about it. I asked her if the person was a foreigner, and she said that they were. I asked her if from the person’s behavior and body language, did she think that they would be open to being her mentor, and she said that she thought so, but wasn’t sure. I explained that the foreigners here on campus are here because they love and want to help the students, and then went on to tell her that if you don’t ask, you don’t get. I asked her to imagine what the worst possible outcome could be, that they would say no, because of their other commitments or lack of time or something. I said “now that’s not all that scary, is it?” and she said “no”. She then took a deep breath, paused for a moment and then blurted out “will you be my mentor?” I told her that I was deeply honored and thanked her for her courage in asking me. Again, I saw her whole face light up, and I felt my own face mirroring hers.
In the years that I’ve been a mentor (pretty much constantly over the last 15 years), I’ve ofteen wondered about how from a marketing perspective, mentoring organizations often neglect to promote just how much both parties get from a mentoring relationship, pramrily focusing instead on the benefits from the mentee’s perspective. I’ve always felt so enriched and learned so much from all of the young adults that I’ve mentored, that I sometimes don’t understand why there isn’t a waiting list, as there is for adopting children.