Lives Measured

I don’t spend as much time writing poetry or short stories as I used to. I think that writing has often been a way for me to process things on my own, whereas nowadays I’m more likely to talk about things with others. I count myself lucky to have family and friends who are always ready to listen, to celebrate the good times and to help me through the not so good.

Today is a poignant day for me, as it is 25 years since my dad died. I woke very early this morning, and after wondering why, I realized that it was exactly the same time that I’d got a call from the hospice all those years ago, telling me that my father was nearing the end. Like today, it was a gloomy autumn day and still dark at that time of morning. I dressed quickly and drove the 200 miles to Chesterfield, to be together with my brother John, at our father’s side.

I’ve written poems about my dad on other anniversaries of his death, and when I sat down to write this morning, I thought that I was going to do the same. Instead, this is what came out.

Lives Measured

lives are measured
by goals met or missed
and by milestones reached
marks of where
and when
and with whom
we once were

others set our first goals
our first steps
our first words
fortunately, for most
the what is a given
and the when
the only mystery

as adulthood beckons
and we awkwardly rush towards it
we learn to set our own improbable goals
I wanted to be an astronaut
I wanted to be liked and feel loved
over time, we learn that some goals
are harder to achieve than others

where goals are what we seek to accomplish
milestones mark the events that change us
a laundry list of the major happenings in our lives
some, the result of hard work
others are more good luck or bad fortune
being in the right or wrong place
at the right or wrong time
most are inevitable
in some form or another

the passing of our parents
the births of our children
saying “I do”
saying “it’s over”
our first job
our first home
the order and timing are different
but most of us experience
the majority of these things

at some point we realize
that more of the road is behind us
than still lays ahead
time becomes more precious
it’s time to make time
for the things that really matter
for family and friends
for the things that bring us joy

as someone once said
“with age comes wisdom
but sometimes age comes alone”
as we take the measure
of our accomplishments
and acknowledge our regrets
we should remain open
to all that’s still to come
while some doors
have closed to us
it is within us all
to see and be open to others

© 2018 Robert Ford